Tuesday, March 13, 2018

My Kingdom for a BandAid

                                         "Doughboy" ©2004 Cindy Packard Richmond

Why are bandaids so damned hard to open?  I understand the need for a sterilized product, but my God.... Who has the finesse to pry apart the 3/16th of an inch (I just measured ) flap.  I know I don't.  I end up, one-handed (the other is above my head to remove gravity from the equation) ripping the paper with my teeth.  Often I have to tear both sides to release it.   The hydrocolloid film bandages also defy access with a small tip that is tough to unseal.  Once you have one freed, you must apply  numbered transparent layers in the correct order.  Or you have to start all over again.  There used to be a brand that had a red string that enabled easy access.

If I am exasperated, it is because my skin is depressingly thin.  I need to be especially careful as any infection can gallop posthaste to my titanium replacement joints.  This, I have been told, would be very bad.

The mildest scrape will rip an angular flap from my arms.  A sweet dog laid his paw on my arm.  When he withdrew, he pulled up three rectangular flaps. I was bandaged for a month.   Bruises flare up suddenly from the merest bump and become purply-blue blotches.  My father had the same problem, but his was exacerbated by Coumadin.  He couldn't put his hand in a tight pocket without puncturing his skin.  If I weren't so clumsy, my hands wouldn't look as if they'd been beset by an army of angry whittlers.

I have spent a small fortune on bandages.  My advice: buy those with Manuka Honey.  They don't open easily, but once you have wrested one from its sheaf, it stays for days.  The honey works in mysterious ways.  I know this sounds odd, but it's medically approved.  Sort of.  On vacation, I went  to an emergency room for a long tear on my arm that would not heal.  After the doctor bandaged me he sent me to the drugstore for Manuka Honey bandages.