It has previously been noted ("Oh say, Can I see?" January 3, 2012 blog) that I have trouble seeing that which I am painting. Several teachers have chided me for "not looking." A recent critique accused me of greedily rushing ahead when I should be pausing and focusing. All of this is sadly true. Another comment, "Cindy mistrusts her eye and inner makings of balance," got me thinking. Well, that and the fact that I have fallen twice in as many weeks. My physical therapist, who is all that stands between me and back surgery, says I am "a crooked old lady." Uneven hips, collapsed cartilage, a touch of scoliosis. I do fall more than the average adult. And without grace. My husband remarked, after I went face first into the Palantine Hill in Rome, that I "went down like a tree." I don't think he was talking saplings, either.
I used to enjoy a walk in the woods. But Nature is lost on me as I can't afford to look. I am focused on the ground, where tree roots, mud and tangled vegetation try to bring me down. Ironically, my last two falls were on sidewalks, where I was silly enough to think I was safe.
So maybe my physical imbalance has rippled into my creativity, causing me to rush ahead as I paint. To finish before I fall...
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